Marriage: His
by Noeme
Summary: The start of a Manchester couples relationship and eventual marriage as told by the husband.


**A/N:** This is the conclusion/ second half to my other one shot **_Marriage: Hers_** and is dedicated to my friend dipdipdipmyblueship. Thank you for reading :)

* * *

_**Our love—a living star;**_

_**To the world it hasn't even shun yet—**_

_**But it's there, a life not yet come to pass**_

_**There is still hope…**_

"_Tell me how to stop…loving you?"_

She had always said these words to him. They ushered in the calm that came after the storm of one of their many explosive fights; when things finally settled down again and what was left was the stifling air of two pitiful people who obviously wanted better for themselves but didn't know how to stop…

She had been disarming from the moment he had met her, his ex wife Lindsey. Disarming was the only word to describe her because he had been taken in; believing in all the things she presented outwardly as well as the things she eluded to being present in her head. Early on all his friends had tried to warn him that Lindsey wasn't all the things she should be. But Tony chose to be stubborn, mistaking this trait like so many others for strength. Lindsey found in this stubborness a vulnerability. The courage he so often displayed in their marriage, his willingness to always take risks, and always wanting to be her hero ended up coming back to bite Tony Gordon in the end.

"That's what happens…" He thought bitterly. If a man wants to be the hero of the piece he better be prepared to live out the tragedy that inevitably follows.

One day after one of their infamous fights, Tony took the risk and asked her the question back…how to stop loving her. He was in vulnerable state.

"_I stopped loving you a long time ago, Tony."_

"_What?!"_

"_I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."_

He had been at a lost for words. He couldn't believe his ears. Tony thought she was joking because she said it in such a matter of fact tone. And in front of his eyes, Lindsey began to back up her belongings and her whole life with him, like it didn't even matter and walked away leaving him in the dust.

"_You don't mean it…"_

But she did. She had been having an affair with his younger brother Patrick for some years now as a result had fallen in love with him instead. Tony was crushed and he cried for days on end. At first he just kept his eyes glued on their front door, getting excited at the possibility of her returning every time he heard a car engine and door. Tony even called, texted and emailed; his brother often getting in between the lines of communication to tell Tony to back off. Finally, because he just wasn't getting the hint and was about to become unhinged and do something destructive, she emailed him.

**_This was the only way to leave._**

He didn't get it at first. He wanted Lindsey to elaborate. Tony wanted them to work things out, to have any reason to speak with her. But snapping out of his depression and laboring in his career it finally hit him that Lindsey was not coming back. The email, though short and sweet was her way to saying that if she loved him, she wouldn't have ever left because when you love someone enough you don't leave. In fact you usually look for every excuse to stay. Though he considered his ex wife a cold-hearted bitch these days and hated her and Patrick with a passion; she had taught him a valuable lesson that things aren't always longed for after they have been lost. He had loved Lindsey but it wasn't like she was his only chance at happiness. He had deluded himself into believing this notion for such a long time that he was missing out on all other kinds of opportunities. Love didn't have to be something lost, that once he got it, it then had to turn to dust in his hands. There are all kinds of love this world and Tony was a firm believer and optimistic in the fact now after all he had been through that people never experience the same love twice.

He was at this Engagement Party now, taking a risk and opportunity because he refused to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him stuck in a deep spiral of anger and depression anymore. Having been invited by a friend tonight, Tony didn't know who the lucky couple of the evening was; but it didn't matter. It was social event, something to do just so it wasn't all work all the time. This was about opening doors and taking chances. Lives were defined by opportunities, both those which are experienced, as well as those that are missed. Tony didn't want to miss any more opportunities and have his mind clouded with 'what ifs'. I didn't make sense for him to close the door and expect failure in things not yet come to pass.

Now outside on the terrace of the hotel, Tony was taking in the fresh air of this beautiful night. The stars were especially astonishing; he didn't think he had ever seen them shine so bright. Maybe he had never paid attention but now he was starting to feel all-sentimental. When they were little, his brother Patrick once told him that all the stars shinning bright in the sky are already dead by the time they reach them. But as they got older and went through more schooling both brothers learnt it was complicated then that. Some of the stars that you can see at night may actually be long gone, with the light from their deaths yet to reach us. Those that are burning bright right now and visible to the human eye are seeing by people a lot younger than they actually are. Among dead stars, new stars are being born all the time burning at this very moment that no one can see yet because their light hasn't had time to reach us.

It was poetic to him a way, the fact that some are dead, but some are very much alive, and some are yet to be seen…like so many other things in life…

All of sudden he thought about those strange dreams he had been having lately. He couldn't quite pin down the details and he was sure the subject of the dreams didn't even really exist. Because after all they were just dreams right? But no matter how much he did tell himself that, he couldn't help but wonder if the woman in question was one very much alive and yet to be seen? He would imagine them meeting again and again in different times. In his dreams, there were so many of them, she was opening up a part of him, it was like he had known her forever. But at the same time she was teaching him things about himself, making him want to let go of being hurt and lashing out in anger at those who had wronged him. She made him realize he was capable of being a warm and kind soul. And then when they had kissed in this dream his world exploded. It wasn't love the way he imagined it or even the love he had been used to but this fact somehow made him trust in it more. The woman was fiery like Lindsey had been, but not destructive. Hers was the type of strength that made a person want to be better and to do better. It was not about manipulation and being vulnerable for the sake of exploitation.

Tony snapped out of his thoughts, suddenly hearing a commotion out on the terrace. It sounded like an explosive fight, one of which Tony did not like the sounds of because the man was verbally abusing his partner.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH! Whom do you think you're talking to? Who the fuck do you think you are? Huh? SHOW ME SOME RESPECT. I WILL DRAG YOU BACK DOWN TO YOUR STREET CORNER AS QUICKLY AS I RAISED YOU!"

Tony had had enough. The words coming out of that mans mouth were uncalled for. There were so many times in the past where he might have resorted to the same name calling against Lindsey and Patrick for their betrayal, but he always mastered self-control. And soon enough he figured out that wasn't the type of person anyone should want to be anyways. He heard the sound of skin slapping against skin in a thunderous snap and that was enough for Tony. Rounding the corner, he was almost in a trance and seeing red, but could see clearly enough to grab ahold of the poor excuse for a man that would dare slap a woman and throw him to the side.

"HEY!" he said catching the pompous and smug bastard by the shoulder and pulling him away from the stumbling woman. He wouldn't waste any more words and quickly got down to business dealing the man a few blows to the face. He was intent on destroying that pretty boy face, lord knows it had likely afforded the bastard too many affordances in life over what he actually deserved. What would he do without it? How would he manipulate, control, abuse and bring women under his spell anymore? His vainness would be the end of him. There would be no more strutting around like he was god's gift with a smashed up face anymore. Tony only stopped once the man lay clinging to the pavement like a pathetic baby. As usual, like all men of his breed, the loser could sure dish it out but not take it.

"Are you okay?" Tony said breathlessly to the woman, his eyes still in slits as he looked at the whimpering fool beneath him.

The woman took a moment to find her voice, but when she finally did, she said something that he found completely disarming. He had to look up at her right then.

"I will be in a moment," her sparkling Jimmy Choo's came into view, not hesitating as she took a few good kicks of her own.

Tony didn't know what to make of the display, whether to give her a high five or to tell her to chill out. But nonetheless he felt completely at lost for words for her spunk. It was like she was feeding off his energy and he hers. His presence gave her courage and he was happy to be that sort of rock for someone.

Finishing in a sigh, she raised her head a little and Tony finally got a good look at her. Those green eyes hit him like a tone of bricks, his stomach quickly doing a big drop and his jaw almost falling open. _"Oh my god! It's her!"_ he thought in his mind, _"It's the woman from my dream!"_ Inside he was going crazy, thinking how insane this was. But on the outside he was able to control and stop himself from gawking at her. His cheeks were flushing though.

"I know you," she finally whispered, blushing under his stare.

He didn't want to think that there was a possibility she had had the same dream about him. That would just be insane. He was so nervous now, feeling off about something, because things from his dream were becoming more vivid now in the real world. Their eyes were dancing back and forth and he knew he had to say something, but he didn't want to scare her and so he made up her mind not to admit to anything unless she persisted.

"I don't think so," he said quietly. His likely gave away that this was a lie. There was some crazy cosmic connection going on between them, like this was fate.

Her look was stern and full of strength even though her voice quivered as she struggled to find her footing and express herself. She was not going to back down, "I know this is going to sound…I don't know…strange but I've had a dream about this…"

He couldn't keep his mouth shut. The period of denial was short, "I think I've had the same." Maybe it was because his brother Patrick of all people had told him once that the girl worth having is the girl that won't wait for anyone. Though in his case Patrick was the guy that wouldn't wait and Lindsey finally realizing she had to make a move was plunged into a choice. Choices, the most important ones like these are never easy and so here was Tony's…he could either deny or he could say the truth. Honesty could be the start of forgetting and moving forward. Suddenly he couldn't be so angry with his brother and his ex and he felt like this stranger who he somehow felt wasn't really stranger had relieved him of this burden.

"Really?" she said shocked if not relieved, "Well what happened in yours?"

He had the impression that she already knew or at least had some idea. Slowly he walked towards her, anticipating what was to come. In his dreams he had kissed her and then he came alive. It was a feeling he never wanted to forget. Every encounter a person could have with someone suggested the possibility of a new potential direction.

"This," he whispered inches from her face because in his dreams he had kissed her and came alive. His heart was beating insanely, thinking…_Is this possible? I've just met her but I've fallen in love…_

They were about to kiss, but he couldn't…not now. It wasn't the right time yet. He wanted to anticipate the potential of where their relationship could go and it didn't make much sense to ruin something so big...a defining moment like this. She was waiting, her eyes shut tight, anticipating and waiting for it all to arrive. _  
_

"I can't explain it," Tony whispered, "but I knew…somehow, I knew…I think I have always been waiting for you." It was like his life was not his own, not really in a bad way though. It was like an outside force had bound him to her, past and present and with each action whether it be good or bad birthed the future for them. His actions tonight whether bad to some, brought him to her and that was a good enough start. The time for a kiss wasn't now, so he pulled away because he could wait for the woman that was worth it. And if the woman was worth it, unlike what his brother thought, perhaps this woman in particular would wait.

She didn't seem too disappointed with his decision, she laughed even, " Maybe it's for the best anyways—no need to rush—I can't just jump from an engagement into kissing another guy."

"Oh, so this was your gala then?"

"Yes…" she hesitated before pouring out her heart, "I was having second thoughts for a while. I think the problem was I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life—like I didn't have my own identity really— so I thought maybe I'd get married because it is something I'd actually be doing even if it was the wrong thing. I wanted to rush it so bad because I really wanted him to love me...he always asked how he was supposed to love me...so I thought marrying him would take the question away and it would all come together naturally... You probably think I'm an idiot. "

"No," Tony smiled. Inside he was thinking it was insane that couldn't love her or had to be told. With him the question would be one of how to stop. But Tony wouldn't want to stop loving a person like her anyways, "I think you've had a long night. And you're no more of an idiot than a lot of us are when it comes to relationships. I have one bad marriage behind me, at least ended yours before it had the chance to start. Maybe you'll get right next time."

"Can I just say that tonight you've made me remember the person I once was…the person that I am...I have worth and I lost sight of that."

"And can I just say," Tony said half serious and half mocking at all the deep talk going on here, "you've made me realize the person I want to be. That I can be a person who doesn't want to get revenge on the people that hurt me anymore because there are other ways to move on."

She laughed again before sighing, "Well then...Can we get out of here? I imagine soon people will be looking for my dear ex-fiancé. I don't want to be seen at the scene of the crime."

"Of course," Tony took her beauty in, taking off his Armani suit jacket and draping it around her shoulders. She gave an appreciative shiver and together they made their way out of there.

As they ran from the scene and hailed a cab, Tony had that once in a lifetime feeling, a unique anticipation. There was hope where hope had been previously absent and with it that brief moment of opportunity for the window to close on happiness forever, but he wouldn't let it close this time like it had for a time with Lindsey. And some people and friends might see this risk as either the beginning or end of everything... love...but depending on how you look at it and the person you choose to get involved with it was all a matter of perception. You can't always know these things straight from the start and that is most true for outsiders looking in. Everyone would think him crazy because they don't yet see... but looking at her he just knew this was right and so for him that was to be the beginning of everything.


End file.
